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Look at What's Working

Rowan hates school. It's heartbreaking. Every morning I leave a screaming kid to head to work. Talk about mom guilt.

As a Type A mom, I've been trying to troubleshoot all year. I finally figured out the root cause by looking at a bright spot—what was working? When was he on his perfect behavior? At my in-laws. Then I asked myself what was different there versus at school (and frankly, often, at home).

Attention. Because my in-laws only hung out with him one night a week, they gave him way more attention than anyone else in his life. So he was happy and behaved. School drop-off into a sea of 20 kids is the opposite.

With this new rubric, my approach to drop-off changed. I dropped Rowan off earlier, so he'd be one of the first kids there. It worked. We had a week without tears.

In your life, when looking at an issue, look first to what is going right. Instead of focusing on all the times you don't make it to the gym, try figuring out what was true about the time you did.

Look at the bright spots. #habits #momhacks